一个连家人都可能不出现的大学毕业典礼，还有何意义？？？？

怎么办？

我好像真的有了忧郁症的前兆。。。

Down

just realise I don't seems to have many friends
it's hard to accept the fact

I'm alone most of the time since that incident
I keep to myself in my rented room most of the time
I try hard to find someone to dine with
but most of the time others have their own plan that I can't join in

I lost contact with most of my secondary school friends
even the 3 that were my best

I don't have a friend from my secondary batch that I can talk about my current life
and I also don't have a friend from my uni batch that I can talk about my past
I tried to, but they don't seems to understand
because we all have our own passion
because we are from different background

now that my thesis lab is not progressing smoothly
I hope to have someone by my side that I can consult
what should I do now
what can I do now
but no one is there

sometimes I will still think
why should I still stay here and suffer
why can't I just leave everything behind
there's nothing that is worth for me to stay

nothing


nothing at all...

多事的后果

今天忍不住，又重回论坛。
结果没去还好，去了，看到一位学长的帖，心情又跌落谷底。
又让我想起我是多么的傻、蠢。
也因为我，连累了升之家，说我们包庇她。

p/s: sorry I know I said that I'll forgot about it, and stop gathering info about it.

不习惯

每当夜深人静时。。。

也没很夜啦。。。

就是天黑时，寂寞就来袭。

很不习惯现在只剩下我的这个家。

很静。

很没生气。

没有了讲话的对象。

只剩下电脑、网际网络、FB。

跟妈妈煲电话的次数突然增加了许多。

或许是只想听到人的声音，所以就算聊的是一些琐碎事，像邻居家装修闹的笑话，我也很乐意、希望她不要那么快挂电话。

真的很不习惯。







眼泪又要缺提了。

最近的泪腺还蛮发达的。。。

Some day...

Someone asked me, if one day, I meet her again, what will my reaction be?

Seriously, I have no idea.

Greet her?
Smile at her?
Ignore her?
Scold her?
Question her why she betrayed my trust?

她的好

这几天，因为发觉了很多事，让我对她不再信任，甚至忘了，她还有对我好的时候。
人总是这样，当负面的事摆在眼前，以前的一切正面的就会被遗忘。
因为人习惯把缺点放大、放大、再放大。

但是，一个朋友却提醒了我。
谢啦！

昨天，冷静下后，开始想起她的好。
她在我撞车时，帮了我，也因为她在身边，我才可以慢慢的把惊吓压下，然后应付需要处理的事。
她在我生病时照顾了我。
她在我遇到困难时，开导我，鼓励我。

如果她真的从来没有对我好过，我应该不可能会那么信任她吧？

现在，我只希望事情能快点结束，然后我们都可以从新开始我们的新生活。

AZA, AZA, FIGHTING!!!!!

结果，我还是没睡好。凌晨12点多才睡，但是4点多就醒来了。就算我怎么式着，还是睡不着。

还有一晚才回家，
还有一个不眠的夜晚。。。